


Potential

by mylittlecthulhu (marineko)



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment, j - Fandom
Genre: AU, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-31
Updated: 2010-08-31
Packaged: 2017-10-23 02:38:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/245372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marineko/pseuds/mylittlecthulhu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jun believes in love at first sight. Sho doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Potential

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "Fleeting Moments" by Pocketbooks.  
> A Jun birthday fic from 2010.

**POTENTIAL**

> Oh the summer, it drags its heels  
> And then for every fleeting moment   
> There’s a fortnight left to wonder if it happened at all…  
> \- "Fleeting Moments" by Pocketbooks

  
It goes to figure, Jun thought, that he’d go out with all the intentions to find a girl, and instead found himself hung up on a guy. 

It was all Aiba’s fault.

 _Come out for one night_ , his classmate had insisted.  _Nino’s bringing all these girls from his music class, and we’re having a lot of fun, and who knows, you might meet someone_.

Jun was a big believer in signs and serendipity, and didn’t really think that he would go out with the intention of meeting a girl (well, several girls) to fall for one of them. Things like love, they happened when they wanted to happen. They weren’t things that you choose or chase after.

Still, he went out, because Aiba would be upset if he didn’t, and Nino would be mad if he didn’t show up after all the trouble he had gone through. On the way to the bar he saw a large poster, advertising a new kind of beer - or was it an old one rebranded, he wondered - with the image of a woman and a man whose eyes met across a crowded room. Across the poster were the words “I’m all potential, and potential is the spark behind my eyes.”

It pleased him, that poster. He thought of it the whole way to the bar, and he wondered if it was a sign, an attitude he Junuld be carrying.  _I’m all potential_. He supposed that Aiba was right - just because the evening was orchestrated by Nino, it didn’t mean that the potential for  _something_  to happen was lost.

And then, serendipity.

He had known that Aiba and Nino had called up friends from their other classes, too. He recognised Ohno, from Nino’s music class, who was tapping his fingers on the counter to the beat of the music playing. He recognised Toma from Principles of Advertising, and another guy, someone he had seen Toma talking to on campus several times. He even recognised a few of the girls who were laughing and chatting with them. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, and no one noticed Jun walking towards them, except the one man standing next to Aiba, who looked up at the very moment Jun was looking at him. Their gazes held, and the moment stretched, before the other man turned away, the moment overstaying its welcome.

Jun had to tell himself to remember to breathe as he stepped closer, stopping in front of Aiba.

“You’re finally here, Jun!” Aiba grinned and gave Jun a quick hug. “Everyone, meet Matsumoto Jun. We’re in a few classes together. He’s dark and mysterious - and you know when I say that I mean that he’s broody and annoying. And guess what? He’s the reason we’re all here today! Happy birthday, Jun!”

The crowd that surrounded him either clapped and cheered or wished him a happy birthday. He felt a little shocked, and touched that Aiba would want to celebrate his birthday, but at the same time he wondered why Aiba would invite so many people he didn’t know.

He felt a piercing gaze on him, and turned his head slightly to see the man next to Aiba.

“Ah, Jun, I guess you don’t know Sho-chan yet,” Aiba said. “Meet Sakurai Sho, my bestest best friend. Don’t look like that, Nino,” he called out to Ninomiya, “You’re my _bestest_  bestest best friend, how’s that?”

Nino just rolled his eyes and continued talking to the girl he was sitting next to. Her hair was cut boyishly short, making her look like a pixie. She’s from Hospitality, Jun recalled. One of his and Aiba’s classmates. 

“Then what about me?” he asked Aiba. “What am I?”

“Oh, you’re just my best friend,” Aiba replied with a teasing grin. Jun wanted to retort, but he could feel Sho looking at him, and he stopped.

})i({

Jun preferred to keep the moment to himself. He enjoyed it, the short moments of pure recognition and  _hey, you seem familiar_  when in truth they had never met before, it was just a sort of instinct that takes over and tells him that he knew this person, somehow. And he did know Sho. He could tell that Sho was exactly the kind of person that usually overwhelmed him, the sort who didn’t believe in coincidence and was rational about everything. 

It wasn’t that Jun wasn’t  _rational_. It was just that he also believed that there are things that can’t just be explained away. Like whatever it was that drew them together, always finding their way towards each other no matter how many times they tried to draw away, or how many people took them away from each other. All night, they kept finding each other.

 _I’m all potential_ , Jun thought, and he thought of the potential of him and Sho, the differences between them convincing him more than ever that they were meant to find each other. 

})i({

Sho didn’t believe in serendipity.

He was all about comparisons and speculation, and he was the sort of person who would see Nino perform one of his card tricks and then do all he could to find out how it was done. He would see something beautiful and all he would think of was the mechanisms behind it, and in the end he would always lose his sense of beauty. Needless to say, he wasn’t the sort of fool who believed in things like love at first sight or fated moments.

The electricity that shot through him the moment Jun walked in, that was just chemistry, he told himself. The curiosity he felt came from that. Still, he found himself watching - sometimes openly staring - at Jun, unable to concentrate on anything else. So he excused himself, and walked out to the small open area where the patrons would go to have a smoke. 

It killed him, that he couldn’t explain how even though his back was facing the door, he knew exactly who it was that came out behind him.

“Happy birthday,” he said, without turning.

“Thank you. It’s not really my birthday, though. Aiba thought that having a surprise party on my actual birthday is too much of a cliche, so he decided to do it a couple of weeks earlier.”

Sho snorted indelicately. It was just the kind of thing Aiba would think of, he thought. “Well, happy pretend birthday, then.”

Jun stood a little too close, one of his fingers holding an unlighted cigarette. “You’re not smoking?” he asked.

Sho shook his head. “Just wanted some fresh air.” The two of them looked at each other, and laughed a little, amused by the idea of coming out to the smoking section for “fresh” air.

“I guess I shouldn’t spoil that, then,” Jun said, and before Sho could stop him, he flicked away his cigarette towards the bin to his right.

“You shouldn’t waste things like that,” Sho said, frowning. 

“It’s a small price to pay to the birthday gods,” Jun replied with a wide smile, and it struck Sho that there was nothing “broody” or even “dark and mysterious” about the man before him. There was a giddiness to Jun’s expression that he couldn’t place - although, Sho allowed, it was his birthday after all, so he must have a reason to be happy - and the unguarded smile made Sho feel slightly alarmed.  _It would be easy to hurt him_ , Sho realised, and a rush of feeling came over him, a need to make sure no one could do so. His frown intensified. It really was irrational, he thought, that he would feel protective over this person he had just met, and only because they seemed so carefree and open. 

})i({

“So how’d you like my surprise?”

Jun didn’t understand why he was the one nursing a hangover when Aiba was the one who never stopped drinking. As if rubbing it in, despite the fact that neither of them had much sleep the previous night, Aiba looked as bright and energetic as usual, while Jun was pretty sure he resembled a zombie. He wished he could shoot himself to make the pounding in his head stop. Since Aiba was looking at him expectantly, he grunted in reply.

“You know, Aya-chan said you’re her type.” Aiba spoke in a casual manner, but he was watching Jun’s reaction closely. Jun just grunted again. “Oh, but you spent more time with Maki, didn’t you? I think she has a boyfriend, though... or was it Aihara-kun that you liked the most? He kept pouring you drinks, I remember.”

Jun groaned, and dragged a pillow across his face. He regretted letting Aiba persuade him into sleeping over. At least now he knew why Aiba had invited so many people he didn’t know. “I don’t want to be part of whatever you’re planning with Nino,” he mumbled. “Leave me alone.”

“I’m hurt,” he heard Nino say, but he didn’t lift the pillow from his head to look at his friend. “I can’t believe you’d suggest such a thing.”

“If you want to pretend you don’t know anything, you shouldn’t make Aiba your partner in crime,” a sleepy voice sounded. “He’ll let the cat out of the bag before you even know the bag was there.” Jun didn’t recognise the voice, but he knew it was probably one of the others that had been at the gathering the previous night.

“That’s mean, Oh-chan,” Aiba said, and for some reason Jun knew he was pouting. “We really weren’t planning anything. We just wanted Jun to have some fun.”

Jun knew that Aiba and Nino meant well, but it didn’t really matter as the two of them meaning well always meant trouble for Jun. They were always insisting something was fun and expect him to go along with it, and while they were having the time of their lives Jun would be wishing for things to end as quickly as possible. So it was really easy to believe that they thought that he would really enjoy a party full of strangers, instead of a quiet gathering at home with just them. In a way he was glad that the party was done in advance, so that he could spend his actual birthday in peace. 

Aiba thought that he was too picky when it came to romantic relationships, but he didn’t agree - perhaps he was even the opposite. He just didn’t see the point in fun for the sake of having fun, of dating and making promises when he knew it wasn’t going to amount to much in the end. He liked the idea of people more than the people themselves - the moments when there was a fleeting attraction between two people, when they could look at each other and all the possibilities in the world lay between them. 

He liked stories with unresolved endings. That way, they could last forever in his mind, like promises kept in a box that wouldn’t be opened.

 _I’m all potential_ , he reminded himself. The words resonated within him as he remembered Sho, and had to ask himself where did Sho fit in, in the grand scheme of things. He had certainly enjoyed the sparks between them, and he knew that Sho had felt it, too. But when he would usually prefer to leave things be, this time he spent the better part of the night thinking about the possibility of Sho.

})i({

Sho was tired, and sleepy, and annoyed.

He didn’t know why Jun had to haunt his thoughts - it didn’t make any kind of sense at all, especially when he considered the fact that they had just met. It was as if before he knew it, he was deliberating the possibility of Jun, even though the idea was absurd to him.

When he entered the lecture hall, Sho scanned the area until he found someone sleeping on a book that had been spread open on the table before him. The seat next to him was empty, so Sho walked down and put down his things next to the sleeping person. One of his books fell onto the table with a loud thud.

Ohno woke up with a start. “Be more quiet,” he said to Sho. “This is a lecture hall. You shouldn’t be making noise.”

Sho thought that it was worse to be asleep than to make a little noise, but he didn’t bother forming a reply. “Good morning to you, too,” he said.

Ohno yawned. “Yesterday was interesting, huh?”

Sho wondered what Ohno’s definition of “interesting” was. After he and Jun went back in, the party was on full swing, with everyone acting crazy and getting more intoxicated as the night prolonged. Sho was probably the only person who remembered that they had classes the following day. 

Since Ohno was still looking at him expectantly, Sho gave the older boy a shrug. “It was okay.”

Ohno was already losing interest in the conversation by then, and was flipping through his textbook. 

})i({

At first he thought it was just a trick of the mind, that the fact that he had been thinking of Jun all day was making him see Jun everywhere. But after another glance, he realised that Jun really was there, on the other side of the shelves of the used CD store.  _It’s just coincidence_ , Sho told himself, and let his gaze linger for a short while before moving on. He walked away, trying to explain away the way he felt warmth rushing to his cheeks in the one moment he thought Jun noticed him, too.

There was a brief second when he paused, paying attention to the lyrics of the song playing in the store. It said something about how love was a mystery that could take thousands of years to solve, and asked if it should be something that one was given by the fates, or something that one chose.  _Of course it’s chosen_ , Sho thought impatiently.  _If it’s a mystery, it’s one that's a lot simpler than expected and people are always let down afterwards._

})i({

Jun watched Sho from the corner of his eye, a small smile playing at his lips. He had seen the discomfort in Sho’s eyes as he dragged them away from Jun’s. He had wanted to say something, because really, it must be some sort of sign that they would meet by chance just when Jun was starting to wonder if the moment of him and Sho finding each other’s gaze across the crowded room really happened at all. 

But then Sho moved to leave, and Jun told himself that it was just as well, because he enjoyed the tingling anticipation he felt when he thought of Sho, and perhaps it was better enjoyed this way.

When Sho took another glance back at him, tripping on his way out, Jun turned away and laughed to himself. 

})i({

Two weeks later, Jun was still thinking of Sho. He couldn’t sleep, so he had went out to the bus stop, thinking that he’d go to the 24-hour diner on the other side of the campus. 

 _It’s starting to get ridiculous_ , he thought to himself. As much as he liked to entertain the idea of Sho, the increasing amount of sleepless nights caused by it was starting to worry him. He thought that the feelings would fade away in time, because nothing was as perfect as the first moment, anyway. That was how it always happened. He met someone, he fell for them, and then after a few weeks of joy, considering them, or the idea of them, they would gradually fade away into memory and he would meet someone new. 

It wasn’t very romantic, he knew, but it was a sort of romance. This way, he would always be able to experience the exhilarating gravity of falling in love, without the hurt that comes after the falling was done. He had never been able to explain this to Aiba, who would always fall for someone so completely, and get crushed afterwards. 

“I don’t know why people say love is so great,” he overheard a girl say. There were only two other people at the bus stop where he was waiting, and the two girls were engrossed in their conversation. “You meet someone, you get all excited over nothing, and then in a few weeks or months or if you’re lucky, years, the feeling goes away and you find yourself wondering how you’re going to break up with them without hurting them too much.”

Jun almost nodded when he heard her.

“You’re thinking of love like a toy, something you play with and then discard,” her friend replied. Jun glanced over at them, and saw that they were both older than he thought. They seemed to be on their way back from work. “What it is, is hard work. Of course those initial feelings won’t last, and things can change on you easily, but if you’re willing to work, to make compromises... then you’d still have trust, the joy of carving out a new life together, and learning new things about ourselves and each other.” She laughed, as her friend made a face. “I know it all sounds incredibly boring and preachy to you, but this is what I think, anyway.”

Jun had always figured that bus stop conversations, like advertisements and posters and neon signs that may not mean the same thing to everyone, were nothing short of miraculous when they were put (or overheard) in exactly the right time and place.

 _I’m all potential_ , he thought,  _but what use is potential when it’s all I ever know?_

He stood up suddenly, and thanked the women, who looked startled when he suddenly approached them, and started to walk towards the area on campus where students rented out apartments. Aiba's place.  _He would know how to find Sho._

})i({

“So what’s the super-super-top-secret thing that you wanted to tell me?” Sho demanded the moment Aiba opened the door. “It’s twenty minutes to midnight, and I have morning class tomorrow.”

Aiba grinned. “First things first,” he said, pulling Sho inside. “Upon some grilling -”

“Or really, just poking him awake long enough to answer,” Nino, who was sprawled on Aiba’s couch, interrupted.

“Oh-chan said that you’ve been really distracted these days.”

He had been thinking of Jun a lot, but he wasn’t about to tell Aiba that. “I’ve had stuff on my mind,” he said. “Was that your super-super-top-secret thing?” And then, turning to Nino, he asked, “why are you always here, anyway? Do you even go to our school?”

Nino just gave him a smirk that didn’t answer anything. While Nino was usually found on campus, no one Sho knew had actually  _seen_  him in class, so it was a valid question. 

“Forget about Nino,” Aiba said. “Your future is at stake, here.”

“My future?” Sho was amused. He didn’t know how Aiba had gotten from him being distracted in class to his future. “As far as I know, my grades are not in danger quite yet. Ohno’s, though -”

“He had repeated a year or two before; he could do it again,” Aiba said dismissively. “I want to ask you about your intentions.”

“My intentions?”

“Repeating Aiba’s words like that is getting boring, you know,” Nino said, as he stretched and stood up to look out the window. Aiba and Sho ignored him.

“Yes, what are your intentions toward our Junjun?” Aiba tried to put on a fierce expression, but he was failing miserably and reminded Sho of his brother’s puppy instead, although he wasn’t about to tell Aiba that, either. 

“ _Your_  Junjun?” he asked, because he really was amused by the expression, and because he knew that he was annoying Nino.

“Why?” Aiba asked, tilting his head, “would you rather that he was yours?”

Sho choked a little at the question, and coughed. Aiba patted him on the back, saying, “there, there. We noticed that the two of you couldn’t keep your eyes off each other at his birthday party.”

“Which wasn’t really his birthday,” Sho said, with one last cough. Nino was looking at him, too, and he was starting to get embarrassed by the questioning. “So what, anyway? I was interested in him because I know all of your close friends but him, that’s it.”

“Oh.” Aiba went to the sofa and sat down. “I thought that you  _liked_  him.”

Sho laughed nervously. “We barely knew each other! You don’t just  _like_  someone when you don’t know what they’re like as a person.”

“But do you  _want_  to?” Nino asked. “Know him as a person, that is.”

Sho paused. He thought about how Jun seemed uncomfortable at his own “birthday” party, and the strangely protective way he felt about Jun back then. He thought about the chance encounter at the music store, and how he had spent the next few days wishing that he’d at least said hi. He still remembered the CDs Jun had been looking at, and how he had wanted to talk about them with Jun. He had spent the last couple of weeks half-hoping that he’d bump into Jun on campus. He had spent the better part of most of his nights deliberating whether or not he was interested enough in Jun to do something about it.

He looked at Nino, and then at Aiba, and it was as if they immediately knew what he was thinking. Maybe they had always known. “This is ridiculous,” he said. “People don’t just fall into relationships out of nothing.”

“You spend so much time trying to be sensible, and the next thing you know Jun would be snapped up by someone else and you’d be left alone,” Aiba commented. “Sho-chan, you need to start trusting your instincts a little!”

“Instinct is just an excuse used by people who don’t think things through...” Sho started, but something inside him was telling him that he was wrong. Nino just grinned at him as he swallowed, realising that there had been  _something_  telling him that Jun was important, ever since the day they had met. Maybe he wasn’t in love yet. Maybe he didn’t know Jun very well yet. But Jun was important. He knew that much.

 _Is this... instinct?_

He wanted to ask Nino, whose opinions he trusted more than Aiba’s, but Nino had already turned back to the window. “Hey, Sho,” Nino was saying, “can you go out to the store for awhile? We’re out of bread.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Aiba said, remembering. Sho wondered if he was the only one who noticed Nino saying “we’re” out of bread, when it wasn’t even his home. “And milk, too. Why don’t you get some other stuff too, and when you come back we’ll have a proper breakfast together? It’ll be fun!”

“But -”

“We’ll continue talking about Junjun later,” Aiba promised, as he practically shoved Sho out of his door, digging some notes from his pocket and pressing them into Sho’s hands. Sho stared at the crumpled bills as the door closed.  _I guess I’m not getting any sleep tonight_. Feeling rather philosophical about it, he started down the stairs, thinking about all the things Aiba and Nino had put into his head.

})i({

Sho had only walked a small distance from the apartment when he noticed Jun. The two of them stopped, and smiled at each other awkwardly. “Hi,” Sho said.

“Hi.” After rushing to Aiba’s to find out how he could contact Sho, suddenly bumping into Sho in the street left Jun unsure of how to react. 

“Where are you going?”

“Aiba’s place.”

“Oh. I just came from there.”

“Oh.”

They stared at each other for a few more moments, both of them turning a little pink, although it was dark enough that neither of them noticed. “It’s been two weeks, hasn’t it?” Sho asked. “Happy birthday.”

“You remembered.” Jun wet his lips nervously, and looked at his watch. “Although it’s five minutes past twelve, so it’s not really my birthday anymore.” 

“Let me see that,” Sho said. He wasn’t sure what he was doing himself, but this time he thought he’d do what Aiba said and trust his instincts. He stepped closer to look at Jun’s watch, and then his fingers went to the small knob at the side that adjusted the watch’s hands.

“What are you doing?” Jun asked, curious. He watched as Sho turned to clock back to five minutes before twelve.

“Happy birthday,” Sho said again. Then, realising that Jun probably thought he was strange, to have done what he did, he said quickly, “what would you like as a present?”

Jun smiled. “You’re giving me a present?”

“I asked, didn’t I?” Sho would have kicked himself, if he could.  _He probably thinks I’m an idiot, promising presents to strangers_. He shouldn’t have listened to Aiba, he thought.

“How about dinner?” Jun asked. When Sho looked at him with surprise, he immediately added nervously, “I don’t mean  _now_ , of course. I mean, if it’s all right with you, would you like to go out, sometime? It’s okay if you don’t, I mean, you don’t have to give me a present or anything, really...”

He trailed off, and the two of them found themselves staring at each other in silence once more. There was something there, they both decided. A mystery that might never be solved, Sho thought. A story that they have to take the time unfolding, Jun thought, because while he liked unresolved stories, sometimes there are stories that he wanted to see through to the very end.

All the possibilities in the world lay was there between them.

“Sure,” Sho said. “I’d love to have dinner with you.”

})i({

Aiba and Nino watched, with their faces pressed against the window, as the figures walked away together. “Aww, look,” Aiba said. “I think they’re holding hands.”

“Eew,” Nino said, and turned to go back to the sofa, where his DS was waiting. “They’re going to be insufferable when they come back.” He paused. “ _If_  they come back. Do we have any back up plans for breakfast?”

“There’s cereal, but we’re out of milk,” Aiba said vaguely, still watching as Sho and Jun turn into a corner, disappearing from sight.

 _Happy birthday, Junjun_ , he thought.  _This year, let’s try something different._


End file.
